He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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