Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
