What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
