He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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