She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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