i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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