Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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