hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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