i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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