im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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