Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
