So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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