I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
