Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
