i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
