She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
