Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
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Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
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I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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