Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
honey bunches of taint.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
