i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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