is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
