dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
