Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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