I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...