the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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