I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If its not for food we ain't going out.