I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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