Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
