I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
