I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
