I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
