Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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