Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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