My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
