I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
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She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
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And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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