dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
