I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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