i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
