I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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