I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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