never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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