I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize