This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
