Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
