my vag is so smooth its legendary
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I cut my penus on the lid.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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