We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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