So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
