When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
