The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
