Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
