I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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