Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
