He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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