I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...