To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
