I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
