After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
