I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
