I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
