I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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