i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Randomize
