I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he thought i was a dude.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
