Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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